Forever in my heart

A clean and fresh magnolia painted room

In the corner stood a floral tub chair

With matching green solid wood furniture

What was I doing here, it didn’t seem fair

“Make yourself comfortable,

And unpack your bag” the nurse said

Did she have any idea or even care?

What was going through my head?

Slipping between the crisp white sheets

Letting myself relax and lie back

Unsure what I should do next

I decided to keep busy and started to unpack

Relaxing back into my pillow

Gazing out of the window and into space

At 19 I had always taken life for granted

And now very soon both life and death I would have to face

I led trying to relax a while

Medical staff came and went

Poking and prodding and dishing out drugs

But I still didn’t understand what all this meant

I led waiting for something to happen

And as I did I started to think

What was the meaning of life and death?

Would I ever find the link?

I had once been told

For every birth there is a death

We shouldn’t think of our loved ones dying

But instead think of them at rest

I had been brought up to have faith in god

The almighty being bringing peace on earth

Healed the sick, created the world

Then died for us, always putting us first

A strict Christian upbringing with equally strict morals

Always followed the rules, never did anything bad

But now I felt punished by God

What had I done for him to make me so sad?

I had been lost in my thoughts

Almost didn’t feel the pain

Not only was god taking him away but

Putting me through this when I had nothing to gain

Once it had started It all happened so fast

The staff tried to guide me through

But I was young and frightened

I didn’t know what to do

I was hurting inside and out

But did exactly what they said

Felt a tear roll down my cheek

When she announced she could see the head

And so my baby boy was born

On that cool September day

But God why put me through this

Can I ask if I may?

Gorgeous Black hair and beautiful brown eyes

4lb exactly and perfect in every way

My best and worst moment rolled into one

But never will I forget that day

To my baby boy Andrew

Never did I hear you cry

See you smile, crawl or walk

Or hear your first Hi!

Andrew, I never got to say hello to you

So unfair that day I had to say goodbye

You were cruelly taken from me

And only God knows why

To my baby boy Andrew

I love you more than I can say

Please God if you are there

Take care of my baby until I meet him one day